shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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