I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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