i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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