you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
