i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
