Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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