**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
