her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
