i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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