Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
