so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My balls are so social today.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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