I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Ladies don't puke and tell
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
