Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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