So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
