adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize