Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Pappa wants mamma naked
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize