Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
