Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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