they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
