I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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