we have officially lost it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
