Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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