C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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