Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
