she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
