Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
love makes seman taste better
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize