Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
