Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
