Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
