I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
