so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
