this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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