i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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