he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Houston, we have a blender
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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