Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
PANTIES FOUND
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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