I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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