I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
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