i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
