I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
you made out with another girl for some wings
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