I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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