Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
