dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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