Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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