Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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