he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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