The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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