two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
