I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I cannot find my penis.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
