Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
