it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
