the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
