Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
