Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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