Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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