just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
