i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
