if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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