Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Congratulations! We have a period
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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