well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
