the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
