Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
