There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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